Wherever you go
Wherever you be
Do not say yes
When you mean to say No
I remember singing this song in primary school after morning assembly. I never really understood it then until recently. I found myself reviewing my different encounters and relationships with people and the song of so many years came back to me. I realise that it takes guts to be true.
Somewhere along the line we loose our authenticity, the one we were born with. You remember how as a child you spoke your mind boldly and sometimes the mind of others which they could not express themselves. A child boldly says what he thinks is right, wherever, whenever and to whoever and I believe that’s how it’s meant to be.
But after a while, the child starts to realise that speaking the truth is dangerous, it could earn you some serious spanking. I remember how my parents squeezed my mouth or that of my siblings for saying anything that was not politically correct to other people. You just had to say the right things to maintain the peace. Then you get punished for telling a lie when in fact you’ve been living a lie. We begin to learn very early in life how to say the right things just to please people and to give us easy passage. We grow up maintaining the staus quo for the sake of peace. And so we have a world built on falsehood. Falsehood that begins from home, carried to school, church, to work and to every strata of life and it doesn’t end, it continues in perpetuity.
You find out that it is easier to tell your boss that you were late because your child was sick rather than say you were late because you woke up late. You could just be throwing your career away for saying the truth.
Children learn to lie very early to avoid being punished, workers lie, spouses lie, organisations lie, politicians lie, governments lie just to keep the system running because the truth is costly. But the problem with living a lie is that it keeps one perpetually in bondage and frustrasion sets in when it becomes a lifestyle.
I am particularly concerned about spouses living a lie, I mean you don’t have to look too far to see that many couples are not happy. Why? Because very few are saying the truth. I always wonder why a relationship that started with friendship ends up becoming a master/ servant or a boss / subordinate relationship. On this side of the planet, the man transitions to a master gradually and then the wife becomes the servant. Worse still, the man sometimes becomes a god to be worshipped and appeased regularly just for the sake of peace and we wonder why the society is out of balance. If I can’t tell you boldly that I don’t like what you’re doing, you will continue doing it, not because you can’t sense that I don’t like it but because I’m not saying anything for indeed volenti non fit injuria ( to what you have consented to, you cannot complain). When we allow a wrong behaviour, attitude or habit to continue for a long time it becomes a lifestyle. A lifestyle that is perpetuated in the children we nurture which they in turn carry into the society and to their own homes eventually and the cycle continues because the family, home and cradle of life failed because it was built on lies and pretense.
So I ask, What does it really cost to be truthful? First to God your creator, yourself and to mankind? Nothing, I dare say, for the truth sets you free and lies keep you in bondage.
We owe it to God our creator and the one one who wrote the script of our lives to be truthful, for in trying to please others at the expense of our God ordained life, we loose sight of who we really are. And so we have a society of lost people trying to become the bestselling thing of the moment. Haven’t you noticed how it seems that at a particular time, everyone you meet is doing the same thing. At times it’s like everybody is a musician or motivational speaker, pastor, comedian, actor, fashion designer, whatever is selling at the moment just because the family got it wrong.
Let’s build strong and happy families built on truth and love, a place where children discover, believe in and pursue only what they were born to be and our society will get it’s balance again. Stay true to God, yourself and to people. Remember,
Wherever you go ( go go gongo),
Wherever you be (sisi eko)
Do not say yes when you mean to say No.